Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize