Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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