Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
