Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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