that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
