You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
