I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
