Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
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