Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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