btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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