very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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