i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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