He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
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I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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