im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
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stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
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At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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