That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
