Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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