If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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