Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
