Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
