She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
