Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
