well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
