I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
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I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
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I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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