i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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