Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
