It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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