4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
