Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(775): View more from Nevada

Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(

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(563): View more from Iowa

Your favorite bartender is back from prision

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(303): View more from Colorado

his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy

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(631): View more from New York

I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.

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(949): View more from California

He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.

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(785): View more from Kansas

They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Pants are for mortals

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(716): View more from New York

roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.

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