the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
