I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
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