I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
