apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
