I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
