Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
