I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
