well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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