ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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