So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
