i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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