We won't sleep together?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
