Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
