I just made out with a guy for $7.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
