when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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