i wish my penis had a tongue
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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