New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
