I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
