So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize