i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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