Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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