don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
