i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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