ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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