I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
These tits shall not be calmed
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
