May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
