Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
