I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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